I'm sitting in a the cutest cafe, in the the most adorable lanes in Insadong, Seoul, sipping a delicious, sugar vanilla latte, reading Attached, and I can't help but think how crazy it is that you lost me. You lost me.

A part of me always, and maybe a smaller part of me will always, thought that I lost you. That each time you pushed me away, that I did said, acted, or did something that caused you to push me away, so it was my fault. That I lost you.

But sitting here, looking around the traditional and french fusion designed Korean cafe with the sunlight spilling in through open windows across colorful, live flowers and a trickling pond, I realized, you lost me. You lost a life of experiences like this. You lost a life of adventure, a life with someone who will never stop growing. Never stop exploring. Never stop stepping outside the comfort zone. Never stop being loving, hopeful, caring, optimistic, determined, curious and patient.

All I lost was uncertainty, lukewarm reciprocated feelings, anxious nights, spiraling thoughts that turned into days and twisted mental games. I lost nothing. You lost everything.